Well, here it is... it's a new year, right? What did you say, it's March already, wow, really?! Hmmm... I'll have to process and deal with that on a different day....
I've started some new ventures, been dealt some new situations and done a ton of reading and learning and reflecting and moaning and groaning and crying and whining and maybe, just maybe... some growing. When you strip off all the junk that weighs you down everyday my life is amazing. I am healthy, and I'm still young... I have an amazing husband who loves me even on the days I forget to take a shower and I have the most perfect, gorgeous, hilarious and bright little girl on God's green earth. Yes, she is better than your little girl, 10 fold... b/c she is MINE. She is the smartest child to ever grace this planet and she will be whatever her heart desires her to be, IF and ONLY IF she lives to see at least her 21st birthday b/c she is the sassiest, most back-talkingest, too smart for her age, too cool for school three year old you've EVER met. And I do mean, EVER. My husband is healthy, my daughter is healthy, I am healthy. I think my dog is healthy, but we shipped him off to live with the in-laws a while back, so this is only an assumption.
So... this new year, with all it's roller coaster moments has not brought me a sense of new beginnings at all. It has been laden with frustration, worry and guilt. It has been trodden upon by little evils creeping in the dark and snatching your pot of gold after you saw the glimmer of hope. And I'm done letting it get the best of me. I read blogs daily... sometimes that should read I read blogs all day... and I know I have it easy. I know my problems pale in comparison. My husband has a job, a good job at that and as I said above, my family is healthy. So what if your mortgage goes up $400 a month?! What can you actually do about that, other than pay it, right? I could go back to work, but where would that leave us? It would cover the $400 extra every month, but would it cover the childcare costs we would incur and would it cover the extra amounts of gas we would have to buy to transport my overly perfect baby girl to school and myself to said job? And would it actually leave anything after those things are paid for to make this life we have still be "ours"?? I do think about going back to work... a lot, especially lately. But what would that do to my baby girl? Maybe nothing... maybe make her stronger... but it might, it just might... make her think that her mommy doesn't love her as much since she is at an age where understanding is so very black and white. So... my initial solution is to save, when and where I can. I'm an overspender, I always have been. I bargain shop like crazy for clothing and such, but that just means I buy more of it since I paid so little. And, it means we budgeted. For the first time in our adult/married lives we've actually made a budget that for 2 months we've stuck to. We did splurge on a weekend getaway with friends, but we saved for it and made sure it was something we could do before doing it, and... we were extremely frugal while there.
This new frugal life has really started to grow on me. Of course I miss the shopping... it was my outlet, it was my sanctuary... I miss my long lunches by myself, reading a book while somebody else waited on me. I miss the thrill of buying a new outfit for my princess and putting it on her for school the next day and I miss the high of seeing the "Total Saved" at the checkout at Kohl's. BUT I take pride in knowing that I can manage money, I actually CAN do it and that I can help us rebuild a nest egg while staying home, enjoying my daughter, and making sure that she doesn't go without the things she NEEDS: love, a roof over her head, a mommy AND a daddy and the knowledge that our world is perfect and flawed at the same time and that is OK.
So... the purpose of this blog is to share my new life. Share the ideas I find to help me save, share the things I make that help me stay sane, share the love we build around a financial woes, and share the life I never knew I could have because I wasn't looking before. And to share my new design business in the hopes that somebody out there reading this would like to help me contribute to the beauty of the world wide web and my own households bottom line. *insert shameless plug for new business*
You might notice the dreary look, it's just b/c I started this on a whim and didn't decorate first. Don't worry, it won't stay lonely long.
Here's to new beginnings... and new found situations... and most of all to the life we have to live when life keeps moving on. Bigger and better... it will be bigger and better.
